Updated: Oct 6
Let's get real. Moms wear a LOT of hats. We have a lot going on. There are a lot of demands on our time, especially when we try to write. Does this look familiar?
And on top of that, we're always cheering on and supporting the people we love. Whether it's our spouses, kids, friends, or extended family, if they have a hobby, sport, race, project, side hustle, or event, we are there.
That seems awesome.... in theory. The problem is that, too often, saying "Yes" and "I'll be there" to everyone else, means that we have no time for our own goals and passion projects.
It's time to make a change. Your dreams and goals matter, too!
It's time to make your writing a priority.
I know that seems easier said than done. If you are a chronic over-functioner, people pleaser, or perfectionist, it can be especially hard to make your writing a priority.
I know because I've been there.
I've wanted to be a writer since I was a little girl. I can remember declaring my intention as an 8-year-old girl, while standing in the school corridor, right outside of my classroom, and looking at the story that I had written, which had been displayed on the corridor's wall.
Since I loved writing, I spent the next three decades studying and working in fields that allowed me to write. Seems like a win, right?
I wrote every day. But I wrote for others. I wrote for everyone except me.
I wrote papers; briefs; articles; news stories; press releases; guidebooks; letters to clients, opposing counsel, and judges oh my)....
I was a freelancer and a ghostwriter.
And all that writing for everyone else, it sucked the joy right out of my writing.
So I stopped writing. I took a break. Changed careers. And I left writing, until a personal health crises and a global pandemic (remember that?), cracked me open. And I finally picked up the pen again. Not for a client. Not for a customer. But for me.
Now I'm challenging myself to write every single day.
Here's how I do it, despite all the other demands on my time and attention. It just takes a little self-coaching and re-direction.
You can do it, too!
Here are the 2 questions I ask myself when something tries to derail my daily writing.
Whether its work, emails, social media, the kids' activities, gym, meal prepping, or the house cleaning, these two coaching questions keep me on track.
Number 1: What is the ACTUAL expectation for this segment of my day?
Number 2: What is the next best thing to do?
When I feel like I don’t have enough time for writing, its often because I am letting my perfectionism, overworking tendencies, or insecurities get the best of me.
These two questions help me pause and reflect on whether I'm staying aligned with my priorities in the moment. They are especially helpful when I get interrupted just as I'm about to get started on my writing for the day. It seems like whenever I'm about to sit down to write, I suddenly notice the laundry that needs to be folded or have an urge to check my email. But if I can pause in the moment, and ask myself these two questions, more often than not, I follow through and get started on my writing for the day.
That's because my brain (like yours) is really good at finding the answer to questions.
So, when it suggests, I should be folding laundry, and I ask it, what's the actual expectation for this moment, it reminds me, "Oh yeah, the actual expectation for this part of our day is that I write."
This seems simple, but honestly, things aren't always as complex as we make them out to be. Sometimes simple works best.
The second question is especially useful when I feel like I'm pulled in many directions. Like most moms, I often feel like I should clone myself or be in more than one place at the same time. Whether it's due to work, kid activities, or house projects, there are many demands on our time. When we are in that headspace, we aren't in the present moment. It can feel anxious. It can be hard to focus. And it can be especially hard to then use that time for something that might feel frivolous at the moment--our writing.
There are always an abundance of items on the to-do list.
When I think about all those to dos, its really easy for writing to drop down to the bottom or the list or be put on the back burner.
And that's why I ask myself, "What's the next best thing to do?" This question helps my brain filter through all the noise and all the options it offered me to hone in on what I'm meant to be doing at the time. Writing!
These are currently two of my most used coaching questions. I use them on myself every day. Sometimes multiple times a day.
Give these a try and let me know if they help. You can also come up with some coaching questions for yourself. This is called self-coaching, and its a game changer for creating the life of your dreams.
If you want support in finding questions that resonate with you and in finally making yourself a priority, consider 1:1 coaching with me. I'm a professionally trained and certified coach, and my passion is helping busy moms finally prioritize their coaching.
Want free help?
And when you are ready to take the work deeper, contact me for 1:1 coaching, email@example.com.